This article teeters on the precariously-suspended tightrope between amusing and downright disturbing. Judge for yourself, folks...
Yeah, okay, I can see where you're coming from on these ones. Save for the fact this author blatantly stated that most of this article is plagiarized, maybe this it is going to be surprisingly reasonable. There's always a chance...
Okay, breath, whooooooe. These again make some sense. Not that I think these are good things-- I love video stores, and watches are classy pieces of timekeeping snazz (though I personally am still perturbed by the falling-out-of-fashion of the pocket watch). I think maps are delightful, but I rarely, if ever use them for practical purposes, and who the fuck is going to jump in to defend dial-up internet. These don't enrage me. Some of them I am pleased with. But still, we are slowly dripping class out of our culture.
You know that girl back in high school that you took to your homecoming dance sophomore year? Remember, the one who got everyone to start calling you "The Flash" because of your timing-related erectile dysfunction problems? Well now, YOU WILL NEVER GET AWAY FROM HER.
I never thought I'd say this, but it's lists like these that make me thankful of the existence of hipsters. Because of our skinny-jean-wearing, apathy-seeping, Brooklyn-dwelling brethren, the 35 mm film camera has survived much longer than it otherwise would have. The polaroid isn't going down without a fight. New vinyl records are still being produced by indie bands appealing to the hipster market, impractical yet aesthetically pleasing sea foam green bicycles are still on the road, and pretty fifties-era dresses are being bought by Zooey Deschanels everywhere (myself included.) If there is one thing hipsters are good for, it is taking some pretty classy things and turning them from obsolete into stylishly vintage. Then, much to the chagrin of said hipsters, they slip from the supposed "alternative culture" into the mainstream, and are saved from extinction. Thanks hipsters.
In other news: Minivans are making a comeback?
The specificity of this makes me uncomfortable.
Remember when people cared about other people? Remember that outdated emotion called "empathy?" Remember those things called kindness, love, and respect for your fellow man? Well kids born in 2011 won't have any idea!
This makes me want to vomit out my eyes.
OH MY GOD. WHAT. How are children of the future supposed to play hide and seek? Or avoid Shining-esque invasions? THIS IS TERRIFYING.
To see the full list, check out the fate of our future here.
No comments:
Post a Comment